sometimes she drives me crazy in the not so good way. i tend not to dwell on it too much, because we always clear things up quickly - but last night i just needed to say some things to her. so i did. and we fought. but we made up before bedtime, which was at least better than the night before, when we didn't make up until 4am - and only then because i had been up coughing all night and i think she felt bad for me. and we were both sleepy and groggy and it was just easier to go back to being cuddly and fall asleep than to purposefully turn our backs on each other. whatever works.
i'll take what i can get.
but then i felt uneasy because we didn't resolve anything, we just ignored it. so after 3 beers last night, it all came out again.
yes, i get annoyed when you drape all over and hang on your ex in a group. yes, i get mildy angry when you pay more attention to her than to me. i'm not going to tell you to stop, and i'm not saying there's anything behind it - i'm just registering my general annoyance, and all i want back is for you to recognize my feelings. i would just like you to put yourself in my shoes and gauge how annoyed YOU would be. that's all. i'm not pulling a jealous act, and i know there's a lot of shit going down now, but i'm still here too- to support you, and i want to know you appreciate that. i know you do, but i want you to show me.
lord knows i do my fair share of flirting and joking with the ladies - but if you told me you were annoyed by any of it, i would note that and respect your feelings. that's all i want from you.
it's all good now, once she got out of her defensive-shut-off mode, we could talk about it. it's really not a big deal at all, but now that i've said it outloud i feel much better.
phew.
back to your regularly scheduled coupled bliss. everyone needs a throw down every now and then to keep 'em honest.
or something.
i just hate admitting to it. but i'm working on that. i try to be the epitome of a laid-back-devil-may-care girl, but i do have a crazy stalker side. and i want to embrace all sides of me. as well as all sides of her.
teamwork is work! or so they say.
travel this weekend. then family easter, followed by friend easter. i'm excited. what's better than hard boiled eggs and chocolate all day?