i think of us walking hand in hand downtown. our wool sweaters and fleece vests blocking the wind. our bodies so close we continue to stumble into one another. we're laughing and our cheeks are rosy.
this weather reminds me. constantly. of how hard and fast i fell for her so many months ago now. it makes me smile to recall events and touches and smiles and laughs. it makes my heart heavy with the urgency of my first desires for her. because even now. now that everything is settled and certain and real. even now i still feel that desire.
driving down the street, i would have to pull over, certain that i would burst if i couldn't kiss her RIGHT that second. i've never been so physically connected with someone before. i never thought it would last. the urgency, the need to be within 5 feet of her at all times. but it's here. and still. one look into her eyes. makes me crazy. nothing has ever been this right.
and i tell her, daily. that my very favorite part of the day is climbing into her soft soft bed and feeling us wrap ourselves around each other until we fall asleep. i've never slept so tangled up before.
i'll never forget the first time she held my hand. or when i realized. maybe. just maybe. she might have a crush on me too. it's been like a dream, this whole union. scary, at times, but exhilarating as hell.
i think of us last night. laughing so hard i had to curl up into a ball on the floor. holding her. how did we find each other? how did we know all the leaps of faith and questionable decisions would be worth it? how did we continually say we were going to slow things down, cool things off and inevitably do the opposite? who what when where why how?
yes. please. more. please.