the clock seems to be in fast forward whenever we spend time together. a conspiracy, we always say. how does that happen? how is that fair? hours seem like minutes, days like hours. it's all there and gone, so fast. i guess it seems like that because we do only have this fleeting time together.
i don't like it.
what i do like is waking up in her arms. rolling over in my sleep and grabbing her, so relieved that yes, this is real, she is still there. there is nothing better than going to sleep or waking up to a million little kisses.
but we are going in circles.
i can't control the path, and even if we try to change, we come back to this. this grey area. where right is wrong and wrong is right, and everything inbetween. it's the inbetween that kills me. there's no yes or no or maybe. there are only words that are heavy with intention, or expectation. except we're not allowed to have that. so where does it leave us? mostly heartbroken and searching for motive behind actions that leave us wanting for more.
but somehow i can't get enough.
enough of her soft soft hands. enough of her smile, which sends me spinning. enough of her laugh. enough of her arms, around me, holding me tight. enough of her eyes. blue and sometimes green.
it's never enough. i only want more and more. i sink deeper and deeper into her. all of her.
i think i'm crazy. but it's true. i fell.